For Karmen and Jen. I never hated you for what you did. I understood. I just felt like I should've done more. I hope you're out there somewhere, and that somehow this will help bring you peace.
"What is a monster? It was people who go against human nature. Not that they're scary, but that you can't relate to them because they represent something unhuman." -Professor Skye, summarizing Racine's works.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! Jacob tossed himself off his bed, blanket falling to the floor. He tapped his alarm clock before falling back asleep on the hardwood floor.
Jacob's dad rushed in.
"Jacob!" he screamed. "Get up!"
Jacob, disgruntled as he was, got up and put on a shirt. The world looked blurry and sounded fuzzy. He could see and hear his dad talking, screaming maybe. He ignored it and walked to his dresser.
"Are you listening?"
Jacob's dad grabbed his shoulder. Jacob shuttered and jumped back. His dad's tone changed.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jacob!" pleaded his dad. "Please forgive me!"
Jacob felt bad, so he forgave.
Jacob's dad started talking about something while Jacob got dressed. It was 8:00 am. Jacob put on his favourite shark shirt and whatever sweat pants he could find, then he got into his favourite black hoodie. Jacob's dad still talked away, pleading for acknowledgement without even knowing it.
Jacob smiled and agreed, acting enthusiastic. Then he was off to the kitchen. He ate what his dad had made over the kitchen counter, disgruntled by the morning.
"Do you want to revise before your test?" asked Jacob's dad. "Just take a look at the words one more time."
Jacob said no. He felt confident in how hard he'd studied the week before.
"Okay," said Jacob's dad. "You're going to fail."
Jacob panicked. He felt confident, but he didn't want to fail. He told his dad he felt confident.
"Well you're going to fail," said Jacob's dad, confident and casual. "It's fine. You can choose to fail it's not a big deal."
Jacob didn't want to fail. He reviewed the words with his dad, while his dad smiled and reassured him the whole way through.
Jacob's dad dropped him off at school. Jacob walked through the courtyard. He saw his friends with some exchange students, so he went over.
Jacob tried to introduce himself.
"Don't talk to him," said Jacob's friend from a scooter. "He's a loser."
Jacob stuttered. He tried getting a word out, but the kid just smiled and walked off. Jacob just stood there, alone in the courtyard.
Math class came around. Jacob sat alone while working, listening to a death metal song, blasting it through his headphones.
Jacob's bully came along. He wanted to say something to Jacob, so he tapped Jacob's shoulder. Jacob took his headphones off, and the music blasted through.
Jacob's bully retracted, smiling and looking back at the people he sat with, smiling and laughing.
Jacob did the same again once more. He supposed it was one of the only ways to get people to talk to him.
Jacob's bully walked up again, tapping his shoulder. Jacob took off his headphones.
"You're going to go deaf one day," said Jacob's bully. "A gift from hell."
Jacob's bully and one of Jacob's friends threw shreds of paper at him.
Jacob was on the playground, playing soccer with the rest of his grade. He tried getting the ball and kicking, but the other kids took it from him.
"Wait, let me try getting it," said Jacob to his classmates. No one listened. No one heard.
Jacob's classmates continued running as they kicked the ball further and further towards the net, while he tried to keep up. Eventually, Jacob stopped trying to keep up.
Jacob came home after a long, mentally taxing day at school. He went on his Wii U and played Smash Bros. for an hour or so. He loved playing on For Glory, playing strong opponents.
His dad wanted him to start his homework in two minutes. Jacob reasoned the average game took about three, so he booted up.
"You better not be starting another one," screamed Jacob's dad. "You better be done in two minutes, or I'm turning it off."
Jacob profused he would be done in three, the game had run a little long.
"Just let him finish it," protested Jacob's mom.
As soon as the clock hit 5:37, Jacob's dad turned off the power. Jacob's dad screamed at him to do his homework as Jacob's mom argued with him. Jacob walked upstairs, feeling tired, and went to do homework.
Jacob finished his homework and went to sleep.
Jacob started making pancakes the next morning. Jacob's dad continued talking to him nonstop, and Jacob snapped. He said shut up and went back to making pancakes. Jacob's dad was furious. He tore Jacob's earbud out, and screamed at him. Jacob didn't care.
Jacob sat with his classmates while they watched a soccer (football) game. Teams were made in the school, and now everyone was in the playoffs. They sat and watched as one team played the other.
Jacob's classmates lectured him about his video games. The lectures went on for the whole game before it turned to a screaming match.
"I'm trying to help you!" screamed one of Jacob's friends. Jacob cried and hit him over the head with a Tupperware container.
Recess came, and Jacob went off to play by himself while the other kids played sports. He ran around, imagined grand storylines, and sat on rocks. Kids would look at him and laugh.
Jacob sat with his mom in church, listening intently to what the speaker had to say. His mind drifted off of the lecture. He started drawing and colouring.
"Jacob, focus," whispered Jacob's mom. "Don't you want every lasting life?"
Jacob stopped colouring. He tried to listen, reading along with what was being read.
"Isn't it so amazing," asked Jacob's mom. "It's so refreshing being here." Jacob hesitantly agreed.
Jacob sat with his friends after the lectures outside. Jacob's mom then came out and found him.
"You remember what the brother said, don't you?" asked Jacob's mom.
Jacob replied yes.
"Then you go up to our overseer, and you tell him you want to help him!" screamed Jacob's mom in front of him and all his friends.
Jacob's friends eyed him, continuing casual conversation amongst themselves. Jacob protested, saying he didn't want to. Jacob's mom got angry, and walked him to the overseer herself.
Many years later, Jacob finds people who like the same games he does. They go to a high school tournament that is 40 minutes away.
Jacob ends up winning. He spends lots of time with his friends playing the game, and makes new ones. One of Jacob's friends handed out chips for 3$ a bag. Her and Jacob got pretty close over the event, and texted all the time.
Eventually, Jacob and his friend opened up about their lives. They related to each other. They both understood one another. They promised that, one day, they'd meet up.
Jacob's contact name for his friend was 'My Fellow Monster.'
Eventually, Jacob became drained from talking to his friend. The emotional weight of it became just a little too heavy some days. He started texting less frequently.
Eventually, his friend started texting less frequently, too. Every day still, but only once a day. Then one day, Jacob's friend doesn't text him for a week and a half. Jacob notices, and texts his friend. His friend never responds.
Jacob learns his friend committed suicide. She thanked him in her suicide note for brightening her life.
Many years later, Jacob sat around the table with his girlfriend's family as they ate breakfast, and she is brought up.
Jacob sits around as his friend's death is the topic of casual conversation, talking about how she was one of four in recent years.
Jacob thinks about his life over the years, and how he made it out. Jacob thinks about how he learned to relate to others, and how he didn't really represent the monster to society anymore. He thinks about how he made his life better, and how he put in the work and got lucky at the same time. He thinks about his friend, and how she never had a chance. He thinks about how much he misses her, and how much he doesn't miss other things.
Most of all, Jacob thinks about how he has to work to understand his fellow monsters.
We are all people. We've all got reasons for acting weird some days, so we all need to be understanding and patient with each other. We need to be careful with our speech, and be understanding with our actions. We need to be there for each other when it matters, and we need to ask every monster around us how they're doing, even if they aren't to our best of likings.